Big Wins

Some say marriage is all about compromise, but certainly some battles are bigger than others. When moving into a new home there are all kinds of tensions and decisions to be made. These can be made together as a team or unilaterally, preferably by the one between you who is the font of knowledge on the particular topic. Sometimes I see fit to proclaim myself resident expert on one thing or another.

When we were moving into this home in Madison, I KNEW the exact right spot for the cutting boards. It was perfect and upon seeing the location for the first time I instantly thought - "cutting boards". As if every person, for all time, when seeing the shape and placement of this small nook would arrive at the same conclusion. Even without prior knowledge of what a cutting board was, or that it existed, one would see this void and react with the invention of a board, on which to cut things, as the object that should occupy this place. The context of the room (a kitchen) and the microenvironment of what I will call the cutting board nest imposed itself on the psyche of all those who gazed upon it. Lauren protested, but I remained steadfast to my intuition and the will of the cutting board nest. To this day the boards reside in that perfect spot. Little victories be damned, you gotta go big or go home in this marriage game.

Postscript: Our marriage has what I consider to be a pretty balanced yin and yang with respect to these compromises. I may have cashed in all my karmatic credits on this cutting board thing and hope it doesn't cause me to come up short in the next family planning discussion.

From Dungeon Family to Monroe Dungeon

It's only about 3 months late but here's the official blog announcement of our move to Madison. We left the Dirty South and ended up in the spiffy clean Midwest, left East Atlanta and found ourselves in West Madison. In the nick of time just before leaving we were able to find a nice home for rent that fit our needs. It had previously been on the market for sale and, finding themselves in a bit of a time crunch of their own, the owners agreed to rent to us. The home is right on the edge, or maybe just inside, a neighborhood called Dungeon-Monroe. The house and the neighborhood are great. Getting here didn't go exactly as planned. Our things were put on a moving truck in Atlanta and unfortunately were not scheduled to arrive in Madison until mor than two weeks later, after Lauren was scheduled to begin work. We decided to leave Detroit and move into the house without our things. My folks followed us with towels and air mattresses, some chairs, and a table. Even without our things, we found Madison to be very enjoyable and accommodating. One of the first things we noticed was that things were very close. Compared to Atlanta, where you'd have to drive 20 minutes to get somethings, the small town feel of Madison is enhanced by it actually being small. Lauren was able to use the bike share to get to work before our bikes arrived. We could walk to parks, the grocery store, and the free zoo. I wanted to compare the old neighborhood to the new one on some factors

	East Altanta		Dungeon-Monroe
Population	32,654		10,012
Median HH income	$44,101		$67,454
Median HH Value	$208,257		$255,959
Median Age	34.8		36.8
Walk Score	20		74
Transit Score	33		41
Registered Sex Offenders	67		9
Avg Jan High	52		28
Avg July High	89		83
Feels like temp at time of posting	53		40
Notable Rankings	Maxim's #1 Man City		Best City for Young Adults
	Madison is #29		Don't see Atlanta

The first thing that strikes me about this list is that the numbers do a very poor job of capturing the most important differences between the places. The two neighborhoods are closer than expected for many of these metrics (July High temp?). When we moved here we immediately felt a lot better about our location and living situation. There are a lot of variables but is there really a number to capture the way you feel in a place?

Home Away From Home

Less than a month ago we headed north. We packed up the house in Atlanta over the course of about a week, and then the movers came on a Monday and put it all on their truck. We had planned to leave that day and drive to Michigan. There we were going to wait for our shipment to make it to Madison while we stayed at my folks' house. The movers ended up taking a bit longer than expected and it would have been a dangerous all-night drive to the Midwest. We made a quick call to the best hotel you've never heard of over in Peoplestown. Pet's welcome. Dinner, drinks, and conversation provided. Includes private balcony and kitchen. They even have kids' bath toys for your use. Many thanks to the Walk-Lynch's for putting us up and putting up with us.

Tuesday morning, bright and early, six bodies were loaded into the car in all manner of seats, crates, and beds. As you could imagine there was little room for us to take much of anything else with us in the car. Somehow I convinced Lauren to let me bring the desktop computer by claiming it would be necessary to get some work done before things arrived in Madison. This would be the longest car ride of Benton's life, and the furthest the cat and one dog had ever been from Atlanta. The morning began quietly and it was a smooth first three or four hours. I actually don't remember much of the trip being horrible. We stopped for lunch in Lexington and made it to Detroit in pretty good time.

We woke up Wednesday morning in Southgate, MI and got our first estimate for delivery in Madison, 13 days later. We could only complain to the company so long before we had to start thinking about what we would do with our things now arriving after Lauren was scheduled to begin her new job. We had planned to stay in Michigan through the Labor Day weekend regardless. We ended up getting great weather and a lot of family time. It was the first time we spent some regular weekday (non-holiday) time in Southgate - and the whole gang was along for the ride. We took Benton to the play ground at my old school. Walked the dogs by the high school and through the Southgate Nature Center located behind it. "When I went to school here, this was just a scary field."

My parents vacation had already been scheduled and so they were home to play with B in the yard and the kiddie pool. They also took a day trip to the Toledo Zoo and the Ann Arbor Hands On Museum. We went to see a friend's high school football game on Friday night. On our anniversary Lauren and I took a trip to Ann Arbor for a night out. We strolled around town and sampled brews at Jolly Pumpkin.

On the Wednesday after the holiday weekend we decided to leave and drive on to Madison. My parents followed with air mattresses, folding chairs, tables, and towels. Southgate was a great temporary home and introduction to the Midwest.

Leaving Atlanta

Lauren's job ended on August 17th. The week before, a get together - there is not really another word for it: it was not a party, not a ceremony, not a send off as much as some of her colleagues gathering to say goodbye and well wish - was held at the CDC with cake and drinks and a small speech by a boss figure. Members of her closest work team pooled some cash to buy us each a foam cheese supply item for our midwest destination. Benton now has his compulsory cheesehead.

In the week that followed boxes began to accrue and our things slowly, and then more quickly over the weekend, moved into them (or into piles and bags headed for Goodwill and the Salvation Army). A timely 'most e-mailed' article from the New York Times described the benefits of owning less. Each night of the week we had plans to meet up with another friend to say goodbye in one way or another. This included a wonderful Dirty South Beer Club farewell and an ice cream social to say goodbye to Katy and Ben as they moved on to California. We became a bit nostalgic, trying to hold on to the things that make Atlanta what it is even if we don't really like them. Finding a chicken bone in a parking lot or seeing an outrageous temperature reading became a photo opportunity.

Things got hectic in the last week and we became exhausted. Rooms got cleared in preparation for the movers who called on Friday to tell us they'd be there in a few days (ahead of expectations) to load everything into a truck. I think all the dust and cat hair and dog hair and dirt made its way into our lungs and exacerbated our tired state toward an illness. I hope this cough is not chronic.

Our best laid plans to give Benton one more day with his teachers at day care - some of the first folks who ever got to know him and vice versa - and leave midday for Michigan fell flat as the movers continued to load our things into the later afternoon. With our house empty we made a call to the best motel, free or otherwise, in the city limits (name withheld). We enjoyed our last night in Atlanta, as we had so often, with dear friends and good food. In the morning we returned to our house one last time to grab Fila and set off for a new chapter.

Benton's First Birthday

It's been three months since I have blogged. Sadder: there have been only 7 posts this year since the 2011 year in review. Saddest: There have not been many updates on Benton even though he has continued to grow and change. Maybe that is why the blog has not recorded his progress - it is too fast and too expansive to cover. Photos and videos are the mode of the day but even those fail to accurately document what has happened over the past year.

Yes, it has been a year since Benton was born. To celebrate, we all headed up to the northeast for a party. The first destination was Newport to see Gabby and Pappi (forgive me as I confuse all the monikers). In a maneuver out of a James Bond film we arrived at the Providence airport to find a car waiting for us in the lot (with a car seat!). We zoomed off to Newport; our parking and bridge toll paid for by the $20 left in the car's ashtray. Once there we enjoyed the cool summer day out on the porch and in the garden. The next day we trued to go to the beach but got rained out and instead went to an aquarium where you could touch crabs and sharks and starfish. next, we headed to Connecticut to meet up with Suse and the rest of the family, and to prepare for the party the next day.

To set the scene, decorations were made using the characters of one of Benton's favorite books. Notably it features a brown bear. The characters donned the edge of a homemade cake from Grandma and hung from the lights in the kitchen. Pictures of Benton from each month of his first year were draped through the entranceway. Benton went through about three or four outfits as he opened gifts and ate cake. Friends and family came in from as far as New York City - never mind that he himself flew in from Atlanta - to be with him on this special day. Later he played on the deck with giant bubbles.

When we got home the gifts continued to arrive and then be put together by his dad. Now Benton continues to improve his walking, throw in more and more talking, and grows every day.

Say Hi to ya Mutha for me

"Oh, I'm sorry. What'd you just say to her? Smile? Or were you talkin' to me? I hope you were talkin' to me because nobody talks like that to my mah. Apologize to her. Say 'I'm sorry Mrs. Lauren for being sch a dirtbag and disrespectin' you like I did. I deserve to be kicked in the face by a mule.' Now say it, or watch out for this left hook!"

Expedition

"Hello, and thank you for tuning in once again to another exciting episode of Georgia Outdoors. I'm your host Benton Gray and with me, as always, are my ready-for-adventure parents Jason and Lauren. Today we're here in beautiful Vogel State Park. Behind me you'll see a classic example of the early spring flora and geological formations that we'll be exploring today. Join us, won't you?"

War Hero

My old man. His favorite activity was to sit by the pool on a nice day and relive the glory days. He was at the top of his class at West Point. An early graduate and the youngest infantryman they'd ever seen in the 85th. But none of that could save his right arm, he'd say. Now he just gazes into the sea of blue washing up on his feet, wishing he could go for a swim. Just one more time.

New Idea

If you're about my age you probably remember the SNL commercial parody about 'Bad Idea Jeans' (not to be confused with their follow-up 'Mom Jeans' - perfect for Mother's Day). Recently, Verizon has released an ad that blatantly rips off the SNL skit, perhaps to be cool. For me, it was just annoying. Though I like some of their suggested bad ideas - tooth whitening with household bleach, for example - but most of it is just bad. It's nowhere near the original, and it comes off a bit sad. Real life imitates art.

interestingly when I click on the Bad Idea Jeans video it is presented by AT&T. fo real.

The Original Bad Idea Jeans comercial from SNL

The recent copy cat ad from Verizon

Forbidden Fruit

A lot has been said lately about Apple, in particular the company's labor practices in China. More specifically, exposés on Foxconn, the electronics super-manufacturer that makes most of the gadgets we use everyday. There was this one from Charles Duhigg a the New York Times as part of a larger set on the iEconomy. It includes a great little cartoon on the iPhonehere. The paper detailed how the way that things are produced has changed and how that has ben accompanied by a departure of manufacturing from our shores. The figure below shows some of Apple's most recent compliance numbers (taken from the Duhigg + Barboza article).

At about the same time This American Life had a show focused on the one-man monologue of a Mike Daisy, who had been to the Foxconn factory and interviewed workers. The story gives a much better picture of the human side of all this - talking about workers and their day to day lives, as opposed to the NYTimes piece which focuses on the business and the international market forces that drive such things. The story ends, and sort of begins, asking whether this will change anyone's behavior. I am typing this, and you are probably reading this, on a machine made by the company at the center of much of this, and I continue to follow and purchase their products despite knowing that the people making the products most certainly can not afford to buy them themselves and are most likely being treated unfairly. But that's a discussion for another time and place (Facetime me on your iPhone or iPad to discuss).

Today I found an article detailing the retraction of the story on This American Life. It turned out the Mr. Daisy included several fabrications in his uber-popular story about visiting the place of his iPad's birth. In a reaffirming act of due diligence, This American Life broadcast a show detailing their investigation into how this could happen. At the end of the show they turn back to the reporters at the Times for the story they reported.

Regardless of the Mr. Daisy's story, the facts about some of the workers in Foxconn's factories remain true and verified in other reports. The falsifications in Daisy's story relate to his anecdotes about who he ran into and what he actually saw at the factory. In truth, I think Apple is putting forth some effort to be transparent and act as stewards for the employees of its suppliers. They have a portion of their website dedicated to Supplier Responsibility in addition to their environmental actions. It's more difficult to find audit results and actions for other companies like Samsung, Sony, and LG. But that may be a product of their success. Apple is teetering back and forth with Exxon for the title of the world's most valuable company and yesterday announced that they will take some of their cash ($100B) and start paying dividends on their stock.

Student Loans

I'm moving closer to graduating, and this time it'll be for good. Which means I can look forward to devoting a significant portion of my salary to debt - almost all of it from particular southern private university. I heard today on Marketplace - after an on site show at a particular southern private university - that the collective student loan debt for US students is $870 Billion. Story here There is some good news about all that debt accrued from learning things. The College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007 lays out a plan for people working in public service full time to have the remainder of their loans forgiven after 10 years or 120 payments. Public health is mentioned specifically, however, Lauren informs me that the CDC is not an eligible organization. More info here

Benton the Younger

Parallel posting at Dirty South Beer Club

Recently the Dirty South Beer Club pursued its second home brew project, again with the help of the pros at East Atlanta Brewery. The first one was a Russian Imperial Stout that was named for the arrival of the the Breed's first child, Frederick. The making of that brew was freezing and arduous, but the results were delicious. We enjoyed that beer for over a year and it kept getting better.

This time we sought to recreate what has often been referred to as one the best beers in the world: Russian River's Pliny the Elder. We got the recipe from this site which published a Russin River recipe for a home brew Pliny clone. We brewed it on Nov. 19th and were able to enjoy it in the first few weeks of the new year. This time, the group once again decided to mark the arrival of a new member by naming the beer in his honor. The beer is great, but still probably a runner -up to the original. However, I think the new label knocks the original out of the park.

2011 Year in Review

2011 was an eventful year for us. Lauren and I spent last New Year's Eve in a cozy B&B in Woodstock Vermont. This year we were home with our new son and all our pets. Both nights were low key and mellow but a lot has changed between those two nights. A year ago, we were just revealing the pregnancy to family and friends. Now, we are managing jobs with day care and beginning solid foods. Benton is an obvious difference, but a lot has changed in a year so I thought we could look back on what else happened in 2011.

JAN | FEB | MAR | APR | MAY | JUN | JUL | AUG | SEP | OCT | NOV | DEC

JANUARY

At this time last year most everyone in Atlanta was holed up in their homes for a week as the city was coated in ice. People were skating on the city's main thoroughfare, we were sledding in the park, work was cancelled. It was an interesting time when people walked much further than they were used to. Roads were slow and quiet. Everyone flocked to the bars that were able to stay open - and they soon ran out of food and beer since deliveries couldn't make it in. January also introduced us to the first scare of the pregnancy when we fell into a high risk group following an NT scan. All that means is that the measurement of the back of the neck appeared larger than normal and we had to go through more testing. The next day Lauren had a procedure called a CVS and that week we found out we were negative for any of the suspected chromosomal abnormalities. We also found out that we would be having a boy.

FEBRUARY

In February we made the annual trip up to a cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains with friends we made through Georgia Tech. We took the gathering as an opportunity to announce the baby and had the chance to find out about another friend who was expecting. Rebecca and Miguel came in from Boston and had similar news that they couldn't keep a secret for long. In a matter of weeks we'll do it all again this time with two kids in tow. During the trip last year we took a short hike on the Benton MacKaye Trail and for the first time we tossed around the idea of Benton as a name.

MARCH

In March we made a trip up to Cloudland Canyon State Park. This was our first camping trip while Lauren was pregnant and Ben G. came along to join us, presumably while Katy was in some far off land doing good. We were happy to welcome them back this month after their detail to California. We hiked in to some of the 'back country' sites and went to Rocktown the next day for some bouldering. A highlight of the trip was making our own grill out of aluminum foil and sticks and cooking over an open fire. A super highlight of the month occurred at the very end when some of our best friends had their son Bazlo. It was good to have someone close go before us and great to see everything go well. Back in Atlanta, we prepared for our own son's arrival with the help of my dad and Floyd who painted Benton's room (and the living room and the bathroom and fixed the back door and...)

APRIL

In April we were back up near Blue Ridge to celebrate my birthday in conjunction with Liz who, like Lauren, was pregnant at the time. We did a little fly fishing in the Toccoa and revisited the BMT. I turned 32 and am not sure how I celebrated. One event I am sure I attended in April was the 5th(?) annual(?) Lobsta Fest at Scheaf's in Decatur. The most lobsters you will ever see in one place at one time (at someone's house). March and April also saw the departure of a few good friends. In March Laurel headed off to Germany for a postdoc. We gathered at Manuel's to wish her a fond farewell. She returned after 6 months before leaving to go study Spanish in Ecuador. Where are you now, Laurel? In April, Danielle took off to get married and start a life in Dallas. The climbing gym has not been the same, but neither has the Dallas Art's Scene. She got sent off with a real Atlanta "thanks for stopping by" when she and her fiance got held up at gun point the day before they left. What a town. On the brighter side, in April my friend Thura welcomed another healthy baby boy to the world. I hope to see him again soon.

MAY

In May, I got to meet a local public broadcasting legend with Brennan. We were invited to the studios of Atlanta's WABE to meet Lois Reitzes. Everyone in Atlanta knows her voice and her Second Cup Concert Program. We had a good time even if the picture didn't come out that well. Also in May, Lauren and I made another camping trip, this time to Lake Allatoona with friends from Decatur. This was a more posh trip with gas grills, coolers, flat pads, restrooms and the like. As always with this group, it was a blast.

Matt and I also headed out to Utah one more time in May to make a grand trip. Not really knowing where we were going to end up this time, we stopped at a local REI on the way out of town from the airport and talked to some workers about places to head. We ended up in Zion National Park for some of their rainiest weather of the year. It had the makings of a country song. We spent one night up on the West Rim in snow, one night in a Cedar City motel with Dave, and we ran into too much snow going over the pass to the route we intended to take and had to turn back. Dave and Liza have since left SLC and so the next year's trip will not be in that general direction.

JUNE

At the beginning of the month there was an Atlanta Baby Shower to compliment one that my mom threw while we were up in MI in May. A lot of family came in and it was one of the last times we got to see everyone before the birth. In June we began to feel the pressure of an impending child and the heat of an Atlanta Summer. One particularly hot day, on the way to pick up Lauren for a doctor's appointment and the car stalled while in the queque on Briarcliff, near Ponce. I had to get out and push it to the side of the road where I waited a bit, tried to figure out the new insurance policy, and eventually got the car to start. Not long afterward, before I could get to Lauren, it dies again and was not looking good. We moved quickly to procure a new vehicle, something that would fit all of the dogs we now house as well as a child and gear. It's funny how families seem to take on some of the bigger ordeals in life all at once. Not that buying a car is that big of a deal but it is not something you do every month. I remember when some friends were about to have a child and they tore their house down to the foundation and began rebuilding it. I was stuck trying to figure out if it was the greatest idea ever or unnecessary worry. For our part, I'm glad we decided to seek out a new ride in haste.

JULY

When you get close to the due date you don't do too much. Sure enough, most of our July was taken up with waiting. If you read this blog regularly, or if you've tuned in at all in the last 6 months, you already know what happened in July. Benton was born and I'm not sure what else. I remember the women's World Cup, but most everything else is hazy. I think someone told me about a Christian fundamentalist in Norway going violent, the space shuttle program ending, a new country being formed near Sudan, and another thing about Amy Winehouse but I could be making all this up. It was a super exciting event for us and you can read all about it here.

AUGUST

Much like when you're waiting for the kid, you don't schedule too much in the first few weeks or months while you are taking care of him. So our August didn't include that much outside of the home. We did get some more visitors. My sister came in the first week after his birth, then my mom in August and then Lauren's mom and sister came to visit and help. At the same time I took my first trip away from the newly expanded family. I went to a planning PhD writing workshop in Chicago for a few days. It was the first (next) step in moving closer to finishing my degree, after taking the comprehensive exams almost a year prior.

SEPTEMBER

September saw more grandparents come to visit. First my dad came on a birthday plane ticket and then Lauren's dad and Becky came for a weekend. Benton saw so many grandpas this month he nearly turned into one; telling me about the War and offering me seasoned advice from his armchair.

We also made our first 'trip' with Benton and went up to Rabun Gap for the day. This was an opportunity to go on our first hike with Ben as well as some other friends. We experimented with the best way to carry him for the next time. Trouble is by the next hike he'll be too big or in a different state of mind. We found this out a month later at Arabia Mountain. In any event, it was a short hike and a long trip.

OCTOBER

In October, Benton took his first flight when he went up to New England with his mom. He did a great job and benefited from so empty seats in his row. Next my parents came down to visit again. They left at the beginning of the week that Lauren had to return to work. That same week I went out of town to SLC, but this time for a conference presentation. It was a hectic first half of the month with everyone running around, routines being reset, and Benton being introduced to daycare. All of us really like it though. At the end of the month we celebrated Halloween by dressing him up and taking him around to a few homes.

NOVEMBER

November found us again on the road, or in the air rather. This time we all flew back to MI for the Thanksgiving holiday. We got to visit and introduce him to all of the family up there as well as many family friends. We finished the visit with a blessing at the church up there. Another very important thing that happened while we were up there was Benton's first Michigan - Ohio game. He wore this cool shirt that someone from Penn State gave him (seems that everyone hates OSU) and it brought the Wolverines some good luck. They won the meeting for the first time in several years. May he never witness a Michigan loss at the hands of the Buckeyes. Also, in this month I was able to move forward and defend my dissertation proposal and move on to 'candidacy'. Now, I just have to write the thing. It's about how climatic events, like heat waves, interact with land uses that influence local climate. For example, if we know a parking lot is much hotter than the stand of trees we cut down to build it, we may wonder how this changes during periods of extreme heat. A friend suggested this working title and here it appears on an early working draft of the proposal, though I don't think I can stick with it.

DECEMBER

We spent our first Christmas with Benton at our home in Atlanta. We made dinner and opened presents with our families over the internet, as they were all home for the holidays as well. It was a great day. Very relaxing and peaceful and happy. Though we didn't have any visitors for Christmas, the rest of the month brought a lot of people to town. It started with the Bakers coming down from Ohio - Liza and I have started a running bet on the OSU-Michigan game; when we visit each other next, the loser travels. Later that month, Ajay came through. He was in town for the annual Dirty South Beer Club Holiday gift exchange but also made time to stop by Emory's 150th Anniversary where he was included among their 150 great alumni. Later in the month Jorge came up from FL to stay a night with us, meet Ben, and say goodbye to his girlfriend who was here studying. On Christmas night, Ajay stayed over again on his way to conduct research in India. Then the next day my dad and sister came down to help us for a week, and my cousins rolled through from NC on their way to Tampa.

That pretty much brings us up to New Year's Eve where Lauren and found ourselves in much the same situation as the previous year. We were in bed as the calendar rolled over a new year. Though this year we were not in a quaint Vermont hideaway where candles adorn the window spaces of century-old bridges; we were in East Atlanta where they welcome the new year with errant gunfire. This year it was not just the two of us; we had the dogs and cat and our family had grown by a member (human this time, sorry pets! - and permanent, sorry Jorge!). Still we lay there, everything different and still familiar, looking forward to an exciting new year with plenty of expected changes and many unexpected.